We know that hair-metal bands have brought much pain and suffering to innocent citizens just trying to tune into top 40 radio for the latest hit by Jody Whatley or Rick Astley, but that's no reason to start shooting at the genre's biggest stars. If the gun-toting stalker who's after Poison frontman Bret Michaels wanted to do real damage, he'd follow his around with a barber's chair, a pair of scissors, and a massive amount of eye-makeup remover.
We were shocked to learn that Bret Michaels still enters tasks such as touring and making personal appearances into his datebook, but then we're not the biggest follower of butt rock–we're more into contemporary jazz and new age. In fact, now that we think about it, we're not sure whether or not Poison is still a band. They could be selling out venues as large as the events room in the back of Bubba's Rib Shack (Just two miles off I-80!) and attracting young, new be-mulleted fans as we speak. Either way, Bret's having a difficult time bringing the rock to those fans lately, due to all the bullets flying at him. According to Page Six:
On Thursday morning, the randy rocker was arriving at the Adam Corolla radio show in L.A. for a guest appearance when, as he was pulling into the parking lot on Wilshire and Fairfax, "his Mercedes was hit with a bullet," our source said. The window was shattered but Michaels was fine. Just five months ago, the back window of his tour bus was shot out in Springfield, Mass., while he was en route to a show. A rep for Michaels said, "We're taking this seriously. We'd like to think it was random, but this is the second time this has happened in six months – both times at publicized events."
We have a red alert, people! Our hair-metal icons are in danger! Round up the Nelson twins, whichever members of Trixter aren't working in the kitchen at Shakey's, and the surviving members of Enuff Z'nuff and get them to a safe house, stat!
We never would have thought that Bret Michaels would be at MaleStars.com, but sure enough he is.
