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You know how we do not like spending our morning? Searching for nipples. We do not appreciate having to break out the monocle and the protractor in hopes of locating the precise square inch where areola should be visible. It just makes us mad. Stop with the tease, Maxim. We would rather see super sexy Olivia Wilde in a push up bra instead of topless with her nipples airbrushed into non-existence. It wastes our time and it's creepy. We know that the pics in Maxim are so fake they're about one teeny step up from Animaniacs tribute porn anyway, but c'mon. This is just maddening. The hair in that first pic up there even curls around in the shape of a nipple and even slightly approximates the color. But look and look and look some more, and nothing's there. It's just hair. We think you're a dick, Maxim. A nipple-erasing dick.
Olivia Wilde and the Case of the Missing Nipples
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6 Comments
Why did she bother taking her shirt off? This picture could be on a billboard in Saudi Arabia.
Hit Mr. Skin and see her topless for real in Alpha Dog
What the hell is wrong with Maxim in America? Sanitized for your protection. Every other version in every other country has no problem with nipples.
Umm, has it occurred to you guys that maybe Olivia Wilde just doesn't HAVE any nipples?
It didn't until now. Thanks for the nightmares.
Might I draw your attention to the following image?
http://oliviawildefan.com/photos/albums/uploads/Photoshoots/22/005.jpg
Enjoy.