Try as she might, Nicole Richie just doesn't possess the patriotic three-day-weekend spirit. Holiday weekends aren't just about drinking until one of your friends ends up in the hospital; they're also about eating massive quantities of grillables and potato salad and BBQ buffalo chips. To her, eating four Baked Lays may seem like totally pigging out and warrant a four-hour stint on the elliptical the next day, but she's got nothing on your uncle Earl's Monday goal of polishing off four entire packages of beer brats before dusk. Uncle Earl really loves America.
Celebitchy sets the scene for Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton's Memorial Day celebration with Nicole's evite:
My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Letís stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Letís glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!
Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of whoís coming.
Thanks
You may think that Nicole was only joking, but we heard that poor, sad Paris Hilton showed up, hoping to get her mind off her upcoming relocation with a case of Sparks and after the scale showed she weighed in at a beefy 109 was made to step into the "body sculpting lounge," a.k.a. Mischa's guest bathroom, where an emergency liposuction was performed on Paris's ass goiter to help her reach the maximum weight requirement.
Nicole's bones will give you a bone at MrSkin.com.
