To the left of these words, you will note a set of buns. Taut and savory, they wink at you from 'neath the iridescent black spandex of their bikini bottom. Like a cartoon dog floating aloft on the illustrated aroma lines of a juicy steak, your face slowly drifts toward the cheeks on your computer screen. Your fingers twitch, wanting to touch the smooth, caramel flesh. Who is the nubile young fawn attached to the sitter in question?, you ask yourself. Jessica Alba? Eva Longoria, perhaps? The owner of this duff is after the cut.
Sweet fancy Jesus on a Wheat Thin. It's Nicole Richie.
A few hits off the gravity bong and a handful of Vikes must do a body good because Nicole is looking less like One-Eyed Willie in Kitson gear and more like a lovely woman in the bloom of her youth. Whatever you are doing, Nicole, please continue. Although we live to crack wise at your expense, we ultimately wish you health and happiness.
Man, that felt weird. A positive Nicole Richie story. There's got to be some other angle we can exploit. A disgusting angle. Something . . . oh, wait. We know what this story needs. Maddens.
Vomitorium.
More pics of Nicole lookin' cute at MrSkin.com.
