Confirmed: Nicole Richie's Body Can Support New Life

Nicole Richie sat down with Diane Sawyer and confirmed that turdrocker Joel Madden from Good Charlotte did, indeed, place a bun inside her teeny, tiny, E-Z Bake Oven. The almost-four-months-preg Nicole's interview will air tomorrow, and you will not watch it, because Faded Youth dug out all the relevant quotes from the interview and compiled them in this handy clip-n'-collect compendium:

Nicole on her pregnancy: “I’m almost four months.” (ABC)

Nicole on the past year: “I don’t consider it one of the worst. I think this was a blessing in disguise. This year has been full of lessons learned and soul-searching. … I will be really happy once I have done my jail time. I can start fresh.” (OK!)

Nicole on her guilty plea: “I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person who has lost a loved one from drunk driving, I would. Unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.” (ABC News)

Nicole on feeling remorse: “I was watching CNN about a month ago, and they happened to be talking about young people driving under the influence. They were flashing little kids (on the screen) who were killed by drunk drivers, and it broke my heart. It was a big wake-up call.” (OK!)

Nicole on her sentence: “It was a fair, standard sentence. I expected that.” (OK!)

Nicole on comparisons with Hilton’s sentence: “We weren’t charged with the same thing. We had different judges. This isn’t a popularity contest, and it’s not up to people to compare my case with Paris’.” (OK!)

Nicole on why she was on a painkiller when she was arrested: “I have really bad menstrual cramps.” (OK!)

Nicole on whether she has taken drugs since December: “No.” (OK!)

Nicole on her favourite foods: “Sushi. I’m not sure how great that is for me. I also love pizza; I’m a junk-food eater by nature.” (OK!)

That doesn't answer the big questions though: does she really have enough body fat to menstruate? How did a normal human male penis fit inside her? If she took Vicodin for menstrual cramps, was her teenage heroin problem a remedy for split ends? Was Lionel's kicky ponytail in the "Dancing on the Ceiling" video a planned hairdo or just a happy accident?



A slightly fleshier Nicole is available for your viewing pleasure at MrSkin.com.