We have to preface this post with a little blogger love: We adore Egotastic! We want it to be our internet boyfriend and make sweet, sweet bloggy love to it, keyboard to keyboard. But today we're going to have to get all, "Do I look fat in these jeans? How dare you! I can't believe you said that. Well, if you don't love my fat ass then you must not love me!" Because we've got a difference of opinion here. That is most definitely not Natalie Portman's nipple. And we know from nipples. So tuck that boner back inside your Boba Fett costume and wait another couple years for your holy nipple grail, cause this ain't it.
After cracking yesterday's Christina Ricci melon mystery, we feel ready for any knocker-related conundrum. And we have spent half hour upon half hour staring at these Natalie Portman supposed nipple pictures. And we've gotta say that what you're seeing there is just an errant part of Nat's oddly demure stripper get-up. Take a gander at this one:
Now perhaps it is possible that Natalie's nipple is about the length of a green bean, sharp enough to etch her name into glass, and placed precariously atop her breast in an upswinging salute to the ceiling. Possible but not likely. But, hey, if you enjoy whacking off to pink beaded satin, we won't judge.
The Skin Laboratories have scrutinized every millisecond of Closer and have deemed that it contains nary a nip–but plenty of nice Natalie bethonged ass. Investigate their findings at MrSkin.com.
