We're finally ready to admit it. We're well into Tuesday and no one seems to have located any errant Oscar night nipples, so there you go. For the first time in quite a while, a truly G-rated ceremony. Perhaps the stars were particularly wary of offending best actress nominee/li'l shaver Abigail Breslin and had their assistants use the ultra-durable boob tape, or maybe we can blame it on post-Britney poon fallout. But, like a Long John Silvers sign emerging from the fog during a lonely cross-country drive, Mr. Skin's Anatomy Awards are here! Thrill to Salma Hayek's mind-bendingly joggling jugs on Ugly Betty! Watch in wonder as you see Rosie O'Donnell's ass encased, haggis-like, in pantyhose! Be knocked sideways by the fact that Gretchen Mol dyed her hair–ALL her hair–for The Notorious Bettie Page! Let's be honest, kids, you're not really interested in the delicacy of Helen Mirren's portrayal of Queen Elizabeth nor the quiet dignity Rinko Kikuchi brought to Babel. You didn't even see those movies. You were too busy flopping your dong to honeys in the Coldwater Creek catalog. So check out the only awards that matter, and stop poring over pictures from Sunday night, trying in vain to spy a half a centimeter of Winslet areola. It's not going to happen. Give up the ghost.
Once again, that's the 8th Annual Anatomy Awards, at MrSkin.com!
