Sure, the lovely and talented Michelle Williams looks innocent enough, with her beatific, wide-mouthed smile, her angelic blonde locks, the newborn babe cradled in her ivory arms. But that chaste exterior conceals the demon within: a rack-baring, gay-movie-starring-in, out-of-wedlock-baby-having ogre.
In an interview with the San Diego Union Tribune, Michelle's mother Carla says that her daughter is a "sweet" "princess" with "heart" and "a kind soul". But Jim Hopson, the headmaster of Michelle's god-loving/god-fearing elementary and middle school, Santa Fe Christian, has a different song to sing. It's a song of Cerberus and a lake of fire and Michelle's flesh burning in agony for all eternity! When asked about his famous former pupil, Hopson said,
"We don't want to have anything to do with her in relation to that movie. Michelle doesn't represent the values of this institution. We would not approve of her movies and TV shows (including the teen drama ìDawson's Creekî). We'd not like to be tied to 'Brokeback Mountain.' I hope we offered her something in life. But she made the kinds of choices of which we wouldn't approve. 'Brokeback Mountain' basically promotes a lifestyle we don't promote. It's not the word of God.î
Yeah, we don't get it. We've read the Bible cover to cover and, swear to God, there was no mention of any sort of condemnation of the lifestyle depicted in Brokeback Mountain. It doesn't make sense. What does God have against ranch hands who guard sheep? Or eat beans from a can? Or ride horses? Or drink whiskey from . . . oh, that's it. The whiskey. She was in a movie with booze. Shit.
Michelle is naked in the eyes of the Lord at MrSkin.com.
