Rebbie Jackson: Mother Figure. Centipede.

We've basically stopped reporting on the day-to-day poppycockery of the whole Michael Jackson death debacle because it's so confusing and weird and depressing. But there is one sane spot in the sea of cuckoo, and that's this nugget about Prince Michael, Paris, and (cringe) "Blanket" from TMZ:

Multiple sources in the Jackson family tell us even if Katherine Jackson gets custody of Michael Jackson's kids, Michael's big sister Rebbie Jackson will raise the children. The 59-year-old singer, who shares a home in Las Vegas with her hubby of over 20 years, has kept a low public profile, but privately she has been deeply involved in the lives of Michael's children.

We're told Rebbie is currently living with Katherine at the family's Encino home and is caring for the kids day-to-day. As for the kids … they all adore her. Whether she eventually becomes the custodial parent in name or not, she will end up with the primary responsibility of raising Michael's three children.

Honestly, this one's a no-brainer. When it comes to the Jacksons , it's pretty easy to figure out who the sane one is. The entire family probably got together to discern the best person to care for the children, and Katherine asked, "OK, who here had children with an in-law, or had a sibling have children with their spouse?" and Randy and Jermaine held up their hands. The next question was, "Who was whipped, whalloped, and suckerpunched into becoming a childhood breadwinner?" and Marlon, Tito, and Jackie raised their hands. Then she asked, "Who here thinks that no nose is better than a nose, or that coffee enemas are a nutritious balanced breakfast?" and Latoya and Janet raised their hands. That left Rebbie! Problem solved.