Michael Jackson's Super Delicious Gravy Diet

If there's one thing we've always said about Michael Jackson, it's that he knows how to celebrate. Around Halloween time there were always stories about Neverland getting all decked out, complete with an over-the-top haunted house where neighborhood boys would enter a super spooky darkened room and get the pants literally scared off of them by prodding hands attached to hidden bodies. There was even a hand-painted sign outside decreeing "No Girls Allowed" with a backwards R, just like a super secret clubhouse that you never, ever tell anyone about. Especially cops or your parents. And now, just in time for Thanksgiving, Jacko is getting in the holiday spirit by adhering to a gravy diet. Festive. Reports our own Pilgrim gossip guide, FemaleFirst:

Michael Jackson is said to be living on a diet of gravy, painkillers and biscuits.

The cash-strapped star – who settled a £4.7 million court case against Sheikh Abdulla Al-Khalifa at the weekend – is apparently surviving on the bizarre diet after his spending habits spiralled out of control.

Jackson's financial woes are said to be a result of him blowing £1 billion on luxuries such as a Ferrari car and the entire stock from antiques shops and comic book stores he has visited.

Sources close to the 'Thriller' singer say he is a "millionaire who lives like a billionaire".

However, the 50-year-old's family lawyer Brian Oxman insists the star is in excellent health and is not struggling financially.

He said: "Michael is in excellent financial shape. We should all be so fortunate to have his problems.

"He lives a pretty simple lifestyle these days. The extravagances are in the past. He is very low-key, but he is happy and doing well."

Most celebrity diets don't appeal to us. Billy Bob Thornton's insistence on only consuming orange food? Amusing, but not overly delicious. Carrots and sweet potatoes can get pretty boring. But biscuits and gravy? Yum. Truckers have been living on that diet for decades, and they're all dead sexy, right? Maybe MJ should start taking cues from truck drivers for all his decisions. Becoming a frequent caller to the Rush Limbaugh show, showering at Petro, picking up lot lizards. That last one would probably do him some good, actually.