Maybe there's something horribly, horribly wrong with us, but we do not have baby fever. We do not squeal when we see a newborn. We feel no need to coo at strangers' babies as their Polish nannies push them down the street in $1200 strollers. We just don't care. Once in a while we care if the parents happen to be really, really famous, but we have our reasons for that. 1) They might pop out to be so super beautiful that it will burn our retinas just to gaze upon them, a la the biological Jolie-Pitts. 2) They could have totally f'ed up and humorous names like Bronx Mowgli. 3) And this is true in just about every celebrity baby case, they will turn out so messed up from their weird childhoods that they will be really interesting adults, maybe penning riveting tell-alls or maybe just entertaining us like Peaches Geldof or Bijou Phillips. But that last one takes a really long time to pay off, so we'll just wait till they're on a book tour to muster up any interest. Anyway, this is all to say that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are now the proud parents of twin girls via a surrogate. Their namesóMarion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodgeóare oddly old fashioned and boring, but they're not really mockable. We love both Marion Ross and children of witches, so we're cool with the names. Basically, if you're a celebrity and you have babies, you will gain the approval of CelebNewsWire if you name them after someone who has appeared on Nick at Nite. We're easy. Maybe if Matt and Sarah have another kid, they should go with Jim J. Broderick.
