Hasn't Mary-Kate Olsen suffered enough, what with the having arms the size of peppermint sticks and looking like a botoxed duck? Did you really have to take away her Nachos, Paris, with all that you have? Just because her bones are withered and brittle from malnutrition does not mean that she does not bleed. She hurts, dammit.
Mary-Kate really misses her Jolly Greek Giant and wishes she could recapture the halcyon days of making out on a trampoline. But we all must lose our innocence sometime, even if it's ripped out of our feeble hands by that bitch Paris Hilton. Mary-Kate talked to W magazine about Stamos Nachos,
"I miss him and I love him and I don't speak with him anymore. It's a hurtful and painful subject . . . This is a hard time for me . . . [Paris and I], we're not talking."
Poor fun-sized pocket rocket (as Page Six called Mary-Kate)! But did her heartbreak impede her studies? No, she just thinks books are for boring old squares who have to get jobs after they graduate. She'd rather get a mani/pedi and go on a Buckies run.
"I need to be able to go to yoga and work out and just read scripts and go on auditions, because that's what makes me happy. You know? Like, papers don't really make me happy."
Because most college students are jizzing all over the place while typing up that twenty-page paper on the life cycle of the tsetse fly and its place in the ecosystem.
