Marilyn Monroe and the Hummer Hoax

So remember that Marilyn Monroe sex tape we told you about the other day? Yeah, it's probably not real. Sorry about that. But you were never going to be able to see it anyway, so it doesn't really make any difference to you, now does it? Defamer used their fancy-pants skills to whip up a convincing case that the story is totally bogus and the memorabilia dealer involved in the supposed sale is a total jagbag and the Marilyn-memorabilia-collector's version of Heidi Montag. They used tactics they learned in journalism school, like talking one-on-one with leading experts in the field. We didn't go to journalism school, so we don't know how to do that. We did go to clown college, though. We can't write a lede for shit, but, boy, can we work a seltzer bottle. Some of the highlights of Defamer's investigation:

There are too many holes in the Keya Morgan story. Having talked with Mr. Morgan in our own interview over the phone in the summer of 2007, he spoke quickly and non-stop of his planned television documentary, of conspiracy theories into Monroe's death, and about his alleged friendships with all three Monroe husbands.

In general Mr. Morgan was a name dropper, especially when it came to those notorious for supporting the conspiracy theories involved with the story of Marilyn Monroe. However, he wove into our conversation his claim that he dated Mariah Carey and RenÈe Zellweger.

The film was supposedly made of Marilyn Monroe as a starlet. If filmed in this time period of Monroe's life, why would the feds have cared about the activities of a young starlet, considering that Marilyn Monroe had not reached the heights of fame at the time this footage was claimed to have been filmed?

"You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe – she has the famous mole." This is a quote by Keya Morgan, which is one of the flimsiest pieces of evidence ever presented. Just because this alleged film has a person with a mole, it's instantly Marilyn Monroe?

Essentially Morgan is claiming that this is a bootleg copy of a classified FBI film. So if an original is classified, why would the FBI allow this public brouhaha in the press and not stop this sale from taking place? Why would this film copy not be destroyed?

Are they trying to tell us that unscrupulous people make up things about celebrities? Well, golly gee, that is shocking. We must contact our local minister at once so as to secure all those liars a nice warm spot in Hell. For shame.


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