Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Giving Blowjobs)

We all love a celebrity sex tape, right? We would never watch an actual movie involving the likes of Chyna or Screech, but catch them in the act of porking and we will devote hours upon hours of our life to them. But when a sex tape involves one of the biggest stars in history, does it matter that she's been dead for forty-five years? Nah. Not really. The New York Post reports:

Some really like it hot.

In the sordid tradition of peddling raunchy video footage of celebrities a la Paris Hilton, a long-buried sex movie of Marilyn Monroe recently hit the market, a top collector told The Post.

An illicit copy of the steamy, still-FBI-classified reel - 15 minutes of 16mm film footage in which the original blond bombshell performs oral sex on an unidentified man - was just sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million, said Keya Morgan, the well-known memorabilia collector who discovered the film and brokered its purchase.

The footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-'60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said.

The silent black-and-white flick shows Monroe on her knees in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot.

He never moves into the shot, indicating that he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the lens, said Morgan, who saw the footage.

Morgan said he discovered the film while doing research for a documentary on Monroe, after talking with a former FBI agent who told him about a confidential informant who tipped G-men to the existence of the film in the mid-'60s.

The feds eventually confiscated the original footage - but not before the informant made a copy of it, which is what was just sold by his son, Morgan said.

There are heavily redacted, declassified FBI documents talking about a "French-type" film.

They state the informant "exhibited [to agents] a motion picture which depicted deceased actress Marilyn Monroe committing a perverted act upon a unknown male," Morgan said.

The informant was with at least one mobster at the time, the documents state.

According to the documents, "Former baseball star Joseph DiMaggio in the past had offered [the informant] $25,000 for this film, it being the only one in existence, but he refused the offer.

"Source advised that [redacted name of the mole] informed them that he had obtained this film prior to the time Marilyn Monroe had achieved stardom."

Morgan said he got the deceased informant's name from the former FBI agent who tipped him off to the flick - and was floored after he found the mole's son in Washington, DC, and the man retrieved a film canister from a safe-deposit box and spooled it up.

"You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole," Morgan said.

"She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant," he said. "She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops."

Last month, he brokered its sale, leading the informant's son to a wealthy New York businessman who wants to keep this unseemly part of Monroe's past buried.

"He said he's just going to lock it up," Morgan said.

"He said, 'I'm not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I'm not going to sell it, out of respect.'"

We wonder what Hoover's investigation into the tape consisted of. Did his operatives slip JFK a sleeping pill before bed and then steal into his chambers with a sturdy ruler, trying to match his member to the one in the film? Or did Hoover don his favorite party dress and lure RFK into a coat closet, where he then took penile photographs for comparison purposes? So many possibilities. Also, we can't wait till it is discovered that the buyer of the reel is actually Lindsay Lohan's newest paramour, and his intentions are to have LiLo recreate the clip to further prove her artistic abilities.


You may never be able to see Marilyn giving head, but you can still see her naked at MrSkin.com.