In Related News: Mariah Carey's New Album Is in Stores Now!

Yesterday we heard that Mariah Carey was engaged to famous-for-something-or-other young'n Nick Cannon. Then we heard they were actually already married. But maybe they weren't. And Mariah's ring was recycled from Nick's last till-death-(or-someone-hotter)-do-us-part moment. But then again maybe it just looked a hell of a lot like that ring. We are so confused. Why can't all celebrities be as up front about their possible nuptials as Star Jones was? That whole privacy thing is way overrated anyway, and we're pretty sure that not every celeb who whores out their wedding to OK! or People ends up divorcing their super-gay husband a couple of years later. That was probably a fluke and not a curse. First up, was there a wedding? Was it a sham? MSNBC weighs in:

There’s a ring and rumors of a small ceremony, but is there really a marriage between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon? Maybe not, said a source who knows Mariah.

“The lady loves publicity. She’s also got a good sense of humor. If no one gets hurt, why wouldn’t she let the rumors swirl a little while longer and maybe help sales?” said the source.

And the pair's families can't quite get their stories straight either. Take it away TMZ:

Exhibit A: Mariah's nephew says not very cryptically on his Facebook page, as Us reports, that "what you may or may not have read or heard is not true," even though he says he was in the Bahamas. Exhibit B: Nick's fam "confirms" the "news," claiming that he told them he's married.

And if they are married, it looks like Mimi didn't learn any lessons from Paul McCartney, reports The New York Post:

"There was no pre-nup - there wasn't time," said another worried source.

And because we know that all you're really interested in is what the kids in 1890 referred to as "bling," on to the jewelery, via People:

The ring, jeweler Jacob & Co. confirmed to PEOPLE, is crafted from platinum and features a square, emerald-cut fancy light pink diamond in the center, surrounded by 58 intense pink diamonds, flanked by two half-moon diamonds. The total carat weight of the ring – the center stone alone is 10 carats – is a jaw-dropping 17 carats, with a value of $2.5 million.

Though some have speculated that Carey's ring is the same one Cannon gave to his former fiancée, Victoria's Secret model Seltia Ebanks, Ebanks's ring was 12 carats and made of colorless diamonds.

If that's the case, then Nick Cannon is about as creative as Nickelback, because those suckers sure look an awful lot a like. (See, 'cause Nickelback has been writing the same song for ten years, and Nick Cannon . . . designed the . . . same ring . . . twice? Oh, shut up. You come up with a better joke, tough guy. We bet it would go a little something like this: "Mariah and married both start with the letter M. And M's kind of look like boobs. HAHAHAHA!" Good job, Mr. Comedian.)

NOTE: The man in the above photo with Mimi is NOT Nick Cannon, though this whole story would be a hell of a lot more interesting if Mariah were possibly married to a homeless man in a wheelchair. Sorry, Nick, but you're super boring in comparison. And in general too.


Get your Mimi fix at MrSkin.com.