Madonna Embarrassed by Naked Pictures; Hell Frozen, Pigs Flying, Etc.

We never thought we'd see the day when Madonna would be worried about strangers seeing her hoo-ha, but apparently she took that whole proper-British-manor-lady makeover a bit more seriously than we had suspected. Our personal Jean-Paul Gaultier, FemaleFirst, explains:

Madonna is battling to stop explicit photographs of her from being released.

The pop superstar – who has instructed her legal team to stop a collection of private love letters and explicit images from being exposed – is said to be worried the assortment of items could harm her chances of permanently adopting her Malawi son David Banda.

Madonna – who is set to be inspected by the head of Malawi's child welfare services to see if she can keep David – sent 17 notes and seven naked photographs of herself to her then-boyfriend James Albright in the early 90s.

The 48-year-old star, who is now married to film director Guy Ritchie, is said to be "devastated" about the items being released at such an important time.

The collection was recently sold to investment company Marquee Capital who are now hoping to make more than £100,000 from auctioning off the items.

The steamy notes are signed either 'Spanky' – apparently a reference to her sexual preferences at the time – or 'Lola's Mom' along with a pink lipstick kiss mark.

Madonna began dating her former bodyguard Albright in 1992 and the pair remained close until 1994.

A source at Marquee Capital told Britain's Daily Mail newspaper: "It's not all about sex. Some of the notes and letters talk of her world falling apart, others talks of her feeling really low and down. She calls Albright the best looking guy in the world.

"The letters show us that at the height of her career, she was actually a very insecure woman."

Madonna's lawyers insist selling the collection would be an invasion of the singer's privacy and a breach of her copyright.

Admittedly it's been awhile since our "Basics of Malawian Adoptions" course during our stint at Yale Law, but this doesn't make much sense to us. The existence of her Sex book, the "Justify My Love" video, and the entire Blonde Ambition tour don't worry Madonna, but a couple of nudie pics she sent to her ex-boyfriend leave her "devastated"? Is she dressed up as a clown and smearing her own feces on a visibly aroused goat? Because that's probably the only thing we haven't already seen Madonna do.