Madonna Sticks It in the Butt

Usually a headline like "Madonna's Butt Injections" would mean that now that Madonna is nearing 50 her gluteal flesh is starting to sag and pucker, requiring twice-daily injections of rare Alpacan sheep's blood diluted with Kabbalah water into the rumpus region. But knowing that the headline comes from FemaleFirst, who still can't tell the difference between Keira Knightley and George Clooney, we know it's something far more mundane. Sayeth the FF:

Madonna has been injecting vitamins into the butts of the cast on her husband Guy Ritchie's new film.

The actors starring in 'RocknRolla' have been struck down with a spate of illnesses and the super-healthy singer has decided to take matters into her own hands.

Madonna – who takes vitamin injections herself – administers the health-boosting jabs from her Range Rover car.

And it seems she is converting the majority of the cast to the controversial practice.

Actor Gerard Butler, who plays the character One Two, has been a regular vitamin recipient.

His co-star Tom Hardy, who portrays Handsome Bob in the gangster film, personally witnessed the 49-year-old superstar jab Gerard in the rear.

He told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "She does it for her dancers, and is trained to do it, so she decided to do it for the actors as well.

"One day, when we had a break, Guy asked me if I'd like to meet his wife as she was around and he knew I was big fan. I had the shock of my life when I saw her in the back of her Range Rover administering a shot of B12 into the bare a**e of Gerard Butler!"

Tom, 29, has so far refused Madonna's injections, but says: "She is so cool when she does it. She just said to Gerard, 'There you go, bosh! That should do it.' "

We're guessing that at least one of those actors watched Madonna's Truth or Dare when he was younger and the resulting fantasy of Madge sticking something in his ass didn't involve vitamins.