Madonna Ruins (Someone Else's) Marriage, Kisses Gwyneth

Madonna is still insisting that the Ciccone-Ritchies are one big happy family, but supposed schtup mate A-Rod's wife filing for divorce and citing second-hand Madge vadge cooties as the primary reason makes Madonna's story sound a little fishy. We try not to care too much about who's porking who, mostly because famous people go through hump partners like we go through underwear (so about once a week, we're estimating), and it's just too hard to keep up, especially when one of the people involved is a sports star. Give us a good Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie marriage-ending affair, and we're interested. But Madonna f'ing some guy who plays with balls for a living? She might as well be doing a regional accountant for Costco. They have about the same level of fame to us. One thing this affair has done though is distract us from the real story (that Madge, she's wily): Madonna's estranged brother's upcoming tell-all. The Sun reports on the book's first leaked story:

A biography by the Queen of Pop’s brother claims to lift the lid on Madge’s sexual conquests, love affairs, drug-taking and rows with husband GUY RITCHIE.

And it will tell how Madonna, now 49, flirted with Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow at a glamorous New Year party thrown by leading fashion designer DONATELLA VERSACE.

The Like A Virgin singer was dancing on a table at 4am when she dragged Gwyneth up to join her.

Younger brother Christopher Ciconne will tell how he watched as the pair started dancing together.

Then — as party-goers watched in amazement — Madonna grabbed Gwynnie, pulled her to her and kissed the stunned Hollywood star full on the mouth.

Oh my God, we are so shocked. Madonna has never done anything this shocking. (Yawn.) We can't believe she kisses girls. Our world is shattered, life has ended, etc, etc, etc. What's next, brother Christopher? Are you going to tell us that Madonna dyes her hair?


Madonna will shock you right out of your pants at MrSkin.com.