Lindsay Wishes Lindsay Would Stop Lying About Lindsay

Yesterday Lindsay Lohan was all like, "Paris hit me. She's such a bitch." Today she's all like, "Paris is my best friend. Why is everyone spreading these lies about us?" And tomorrow she'll be all like, "Paris Hilton is half donkey. And that's not a metaphor or whatever. Her real dad is a donkey. But I still love her."

Of course you remember yesterday you saw a video of Lindsay Lohan, clearly outraged, proclaiming to X17 cameras that Paris Hilton hit her and poured a drink on her. Then you saw a picture of Lindsay in a car with Paris and Britney Spears and were all like WTF? Today it gets even more confusing, with Lindsay proclaiming to the paps:

Paris never hit me. She's my friend. Everyone lies about everything. ... Please, stop trying to make us hate each other.

Oh, we're sorry, Lindsay. We never meant to spread lies about you. We guess next time we feel the need to play dress up we won't don our impressively convincing Lindsay Lohan costume (we removed the detachable flashed vagina now that the torch has been passed) and run around L.A. searching out paparazzi and their video cameras. That was mean of us. We didn't mean to spread vicious and heinous and not-at-all-true lies about the wonderful relationship you have with the Firecrotch enabler. It won't happen again.
Lindsay is always hot at MrSkin.com.
But Paris is always naked.