Lindsay Lohan has been very busy lately. Very busy putting strange men's penises into her vagina. We think we've finally found the cause of that dreaded Hollywood disease, exhaustion. Trying to remember whether to yell "Shaun" or "Jonathan" during that crucial moment can put quite a strain on a young girl's mind.
A mere two weeks ago we brought you tales of LiLo's latest bedroom adventures with Ryan Adams and Benicio Del Toro. And in the last few days she has reportedly played mommy and daddy with Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Olympic gold medalist Shaun White. Although those cowardly, lawyer-fearing gossips tend to say something quaint and vague, like "got intimate with." That's how you know that our balls are totally bigger than Page Six's. We've never heard of snowboarder Shaun White because we're not eighty, so don't watch the Olympics, but he's very chatty. He said:
"[Lindsay] and I ended up meeting up at the famous Bungalow 8. It was a good time. It was a trip. Coming home from Italy, everybody's been running up to me, saying how proud they are. It's been crazy and so I had to get some time to have fun."
Now at first we didn't think that this statement meant that Shaun shared some semen with Lindsay, but our fourteen-year-old nephew tells us that those wacky snowboarders have their own lingo and "having fun" translates to knockin' boots. Kids these days.
And as for popular blind-item star Jonathan Rhys Meyers, he seems also to be a fan of the casual back-room-at-the-club hookup. According to Page Six:
"On Monday night, Lohan and Rhys Meyers pulled up to the Spotted Pig in a black SUV and, spies say, 'were escorted into the draped-off VIP room alone for some privacy . . . They were alone, and left in the car together.'"
See, the obvious conclusion here is that Linds likes her some drunken Irishmen (see Farrell, Colin), but we think there's a more accurate deduction in this scenario: Lindsay's regular dealer came down with a case of the shits and couldn't deliver so she had to grab the nearest nose-candy factory.
Lindsay's nude review at MrSkin.com.
