Not-so-secret lap lickers Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson recently had to scale a wall to escape from their hotel room. There's some sort of lesbian-sex metaphor in there somewhere, we just know it. Lindsay had to scale the walls of Sam's vadge to escape the confines of socially acceptable heterosexual love? No? Sam had to scale the heights of Lindsay's fame . . . ah screw it. They like chewing on each other's coochies, and they had to get out of a hotel room via the balcony, that's the story. Here's The New York Daily News's take:
The paparazzi waiting to snap Lindsay Lohan and gal pal Samantha Ronson in front of the Bowery Hotel Sunday night would've snagged the shot of a lifetime – if only they were in the back of the building.After being locked in their room due to a malfunctioning door, the duo's only option for exit was out the balcony of their second-floor room and down the side wall.
"Thankfully, the busboys and wait staff were there to climb up and help the girls down," says our insider. "Lindsay and Sam were laughing hysterically. They thought it was the funniest thing ever."
Meanwhile, friends of LiLo were shocked at the actress' new BlackBerry messenger name: "LL <3s [hearts] samanhattan – I didn't get hit by a bike!!!" So did she get mowed down by a two-wheeler on Saturday, as had been reported, or not?
"When we asked her what actually happened, she clammed up," says a friend. "She did go to the hospital, but won't tell anyone why. It's really odd."
Lohan's rep didn't return our calls, while the Bowery Hotel declined to comment on "guests and their happenings."
Of course Lindsay didn't get rammed into by a bike. "Bike" is SamRo's code name for extra-large double-donged dildo. Even Lindsay can't handle that thing, and a trip to the emergency room was necessary. Case closed.
Lindsay gets sexy at MrSkin.com.
