Well, it's been a blissful few (nearly) Lohanless weeks, but all freckle-free things must come to an end. Although safely tucked away in the heart of Mormonland, our intrepid trollop has found a way to indulge her favorite vices in rehab. According to a Cirque Lodge source, she was busted doing drugs:
"Lindsay got called into the director's office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn't conform to the program she'd have to leave."
Furthermore, ShowbizSpy reports that she was caught en flagrante in the bathroom:
ìStaff were alerted to the bathroom because there were strange noises coming from inside and two voices could be heard,î a source says. ìWhen they opened the door, Lindsay was in a compromising position with the guy ñ whoís also at Cirque for drug rehab.î
ìRumors spread like wildfire across the place that theyíd been having sex. When staff found them they were all flustered and Lindsayís hair was all over the shop,î the source adds. ìShe was livid that she was given the miserable task of cleaning the bathrooms so the theory was sheíd do something really dirty in there.î
Soooo, she was mad that she had to clean the bathroom, and as a logical response, she grabbed some random meth head and sat on his wiener atop the john. That's a mature and sensible reaction. We're going to adopt this approach for all aspects of our life. Like when we have to get our driver's license renewed, we're going to douse everyone in front of us in gasoline and set them alight because fuck waiting in lines, right? And when the landlord wants that rent check, we'll just club a baby seal and put its festering carcass in a box and mail it to him. Who likes paying rent? Nobody! And when Mom's birthday rolls around and she's all, "where's my present?" we'll just blow some rails and then get in someone's SUV and chase her through the Hollywood Hills. Yes indeedy, the Lohan way of life is a humble and spiritual path. Kind of like the Amish.
Lindy-Lo shows it off at MrSkin.com.
3 Comments
God Lindsay has really got to learn to control all of her urges. The drug one might be hard to deal with. I have never touched any drugs. But i mean come on if she is really that horny she can just masturbate. She got what she deserved for being caught also.
Heck if all she wants is to screw someone, I will check myself into the Happy Home even though I don't do drugs. I could then serve as her salami service for the length of time in there. I would love to be her salami
Horatio, Do you really have that little regard for you penis? Sheesh, it's Lilo for crying out loud. The CDC has entire wing dedicated to her existence.