Remember the other day when we said that keeping up with the visitation schedule in Lindsay Lohan's panties was a full-time job? Well, we probably shouldn't have kicked off early yesterday for a mid-afternoon lap dance, because we missed the news that Lindsay hooked up with our favorite fake celebrity, Stamos Nachos. And here we thought that we'd never get to talk about Stamos again after that Paris breakup. Long live Stamos Nachos and his Uncle Jesse, ooey-gooey, hot cheesy goodness!
Yesterday we had no insights into why the rock-solid union between Paris Hilton and Stamos Nachos could have come to an end. Today we have two. One involves Lindsay groping, as all good breakup theories do. Life & Style reports:
On the night of April 24 ó mere hours after Paris had left to host a concert in Austria ó Stavros was sipping cocktails and dirty dancing at LA club Element with Lindsay!
"Lindsay was all over Stavros," says a bartender. "At one point, he had his hand up her skirt!" The randy couple then retired to the Hollywood Hills home of a friend, insiders tell Life & Style.
Egotastic has more on the hand-up-Lindsay's-skirt action. But the slightly more reliable Us Weekly reports that Paris dumped Stamos before leaving for Austria, because she has an album coming out this summer and she needs to be free to get wasted, man, and likely sleep with the record-reviews staff at Rolling Stone. A source told Us:
Paris dumped him. He wanted Paris to spend the summer on his yacht, but she doesn't want to party with kids on a boat. She's going to promote her album.
We've gotta say, while the idea of Lindsay getting some Nachos finger action up her mantrap in plain public site titillates us, we're apt to believe that latter story. Lindsay is working on cleaning up her party-girl image and becoming a "serious" actress (serious actresses sleep with directors and producers, not co-stars), and Paris has been abnormally chaste as of late. No slipped nips or feeling up girls on the dance floor. We think it's about time the real Paris came back to us. We've missed her. We've had to rely on Pink as our go-to sexy lady, for chrissakes.
(Oh, and by the way, it's rumored that Paris has already found a new man to hose down her nether crevices in future NFLer Matt Leinart. A Socialite's Life even has some pictures of them together. We don't really know who this Matt dude is cause we're not gay, we don't watch sports where men in tight outfits sweat and grunt and pile on top of one another, we watch porn. But, uh, good for Paris for breaking out of the Greek shipping heir mold.)
Lindsay is always sexy at MrSkin.com.
And Paris is always naked.
