Lee Weaver is a man who was formerly Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard who's now singing like the proverbial stool pigeon, trying to stir up a book deal by spilling Lindsay's chamber of secrets to the press. Not only does she snarf more coke than Tony Montana, not only is she a fan of mound-pounding the ladies, she's a cutter whose self-destructive side became so intense that Weaver was forced to quit, because the job was "too dangerous". This from a man who had previously worked for Robert Downey Jr.
But the most important thing you need to know is that Lindsay rubbed her meathooks all over Mariah Carey's Mimis.
Perhaps Mr. Weaver might like to get together with Jenny Shimizu, because they both seem to have a certain inclination towards spilling all sorts of varieties of celebrity beans to the English press. Weaver tells News of The World:
"One night Lindsay and Nicole [Richie] laid a mirror taken from the bedroom and on a coffee table and emptied a mountain of coke onto it. They went at the stuff with straws hoovering it all up. I tried to tell Lindsay to stop. After ten hours, I had to carry her to the car."
"She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills. I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs."
"I saw her try to grope Mariah Carey's bottom and boobs one night as they danced."
"One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl."
Quick aside: is Lee Weaver English, or do the British press just translate American interviews into Britspeak? But why? If he'd said, "I saw her groping Mariah Carey's ass," the English would still know what was intended, right? Or are "ass" and "butt" as mysterious and untranslatable as ancient Babylonian scriptures? Anyway. Lohan. Carey. Dancing teat to teat. Picture it.
Item two:
"I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood but have never seen anyone as out of control as Lindsay. She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met.
"I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I'd breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive.
"One night I looked at her wrists and hands and noticed they had bright red wounds all over them. She broke down and told me, 'I don't belong on this planet anymore.' She said she cut herself because she didn't think life was worth living."
Aw, we can't even make a joke here. If we learned anything from that movie Secretary, it's that cutting is not cool. And also, that Maggie Gyllenhaal has an overabundance of pubes. Man!
Lohan lives it up at MrSkin.com.
