Nicole Richie's Man Slinks Home, Stinking of Firecrotch

Poor Nicole Richie is damned if she do and damned if she don't. If she goes out and parties, people say she's a bad mother. But if she stays home, succubi hone in on her tattooed baby daddy, Joel Madden. Freckled succubi. Freckled succubi with flames shooting out of their crotches. Star has the story:

While Nicole Richie was home caring for her baby, her fiancé Joel Madden spent a boozy night partying with Lindsay Lohan. Needless to say, Nicole was crushed. The trouble started for the new mom after she decided to stay home with their 4-month-old daughter, Harlow, while Joel deejayed at Hornitos’ Cinco de Mayo party at Crown Bar in L.A. However, while there, the Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records.

“Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers,” says one onlooker. “Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn’t turning her away.” Nicole was immediately alerted to the situation by her arch-frenemy Paris Hilton, who sent her a devastating text message: Lindsay was all over Joel!

Making the situation worse, Nicole frantically tried to call Joel, but he wasn’t answering his phone. “He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring,” a friend of the couple tells Star. “Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage.”

When it comes to your boyfriend flirting with other girls at a club, sometimes you can just shrug it off, and sometimes it's a dealbreaker. It's like the dude is your bologna sandwich, and him talking to other girls is the 5 second rule. It falls on the ground, you shrug, make sure no one's looking, and pick it back up and eat it. But him touching Lindsay Lohan is like your sandwich falling into a puddle of diarrhea mixed with leeches. You just gotta cut your losses and move on.



Dig into more Nicole at MrSkin.com.

Lindsay too!