Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, and Candied Lohans

Things are getting serious between speckled, firecrotchian thespian Lindsay Lohan and her Federline Lite rehab romance, Riley Giles. She even took him home to Long Island for Thanksgiving! And Giles is not just a snowboarder and a possessor of countless Wu Tang shirts--he's a budding writer! In his prolific MySpace blog, Riley told the harrowing tale of holidays with the Lohans:

BLOGGER HOLMES,

Theres some rumors circulating of a breakup…. Maybe its not the first time im going to hear shit like this, it’s kind of amusing if you ask me. These “sources” are just bored, unemployed bloggers (shanna moakler) Samm, i want my fuckin raybans braah

Ny was a blAAst… I wished we could have stayed longer, minus me being forced to smile @ wOprah. what a whackjob!

REMEMBER KIDS, WEAR A CONDOM!

GILES

We're trying to decipher the subtext here. The dis of "w(hite) Oprah" was inspired, though we're not sure what Lindsay will think of her beloved calling her mother a "whackjob". Also, according to Yeeeah!, the Lohans spent their holiday in therapy, while Giles hit the town:

“The Lohan family [sister Ali, 13, mother Dina and father Michael] sat down for a therapy session in Manhattan together [on Thanksgiving],” said our source. Younger brother Dakota, 11, was allowed to skip the session.

Lindsay’s latest fling, fellow ‘habber Riley Giles, spent the holiday weekend partying in the city without his girlfriend. While [Lohan] spent Friday and Saturday shopping with her mom and sister, her new boyfriend slept late on Saturday, having partied the night before at Pink Elephant.

A rehabbed fellow sleeping late after a night at the club? Very curious. However, there's one thing we all agree on, and that's the fact that we're thankful for Lindsay's extremely plump butterballs of cleavage. We just want to take the Henckels to that and carve a gigantic slice out of that breast. How does she get all those flavorful juices to stay in there? She must've brined those things.





Get blowin' for Lohan at MrSkin.com.