We were less than enthused by the rumor that Lindsay Lohan was allowing Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz to visit her lady chamber, but could we return to last week we would embrace the story as if it were our dead childhood puppy. Because now we know what was on the horizon: a pairing between Firecrotch and He Who Videotapes Crotch, Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis.
Page Six reports:
NO wonder Lindsay Lohan wasn't impressed with record producer Scott Storch's diamond gifts over New Year's – she found a guy with a jet. She's seeing "Girls Gone Wild" impresario Joe Francis. Friends of Lohan say Francis was with her when she went to the hospital two weeks ago to have her appendix out, and they planned to leave Saturday for a mini-vacation at Francis' Mexican estate, but decided to stay in town. "Neither of them could resist the lure of the Golden Globe parties," laughed our spy.
We're not sure what kind of revenge Lindsay thinks she's getting on Paris Hilton by servicing Paris's used poles, but we guess that Paris doesn't actually give a fuck. In fact, there's probably some sort of Paris "I'm actually a devious, genius mastermind" diabolical plan at work here. Paris and Joe are trying to set Lindsay up by switching her "party water" with Everclear, coaxing her into signing a release, and then filming the bestselling home video of 2007, Girls Gone Wild Presents: Lindsay Lohan Gone Wild. But Paris will make sure that no actual penetration makes it onto the tape; no little Firecrotch is going to usurp her Queen of the Celebrity Sex Tape crown.
Lindsay is always wild at MrSkin.com.
