A Tale of Lindsay, Coke, and a Rat

Lindsay Lohan! Rats! Illicit behavior! Ryan Seacrest! That Page Six sure knows how to craft a riveting story. If they had just thrown in Nicole Richie giving a handjob to a baby elephant they would've been a shoo-in for a Pulitzer.

We've been seeing pictures for a couple days now of Lindz at a Coachella after party, whooping it up in her bikini top. If you haven't, peruse the set at IDLYITW. But today Page Six matches words with the pretty pictures.

LINDSAY Lohan just can't seem to stop partying - and, unluckily for her, word on the street is that someone may have recorded her revelry with a cellphone video camera. We can't divulge what Lohan was allegedly caught doing, but if true, it won't sit well with her younger fans. Apparently, all the naughtiness went down last week at a party at a private house in Beverly Hills that was also attended by her frenemy Paris Hilton, shipping heir Stavros Niarchos and Ryan Seacrest. At one point, the party was disrupted by a huge rat that ran into several rooms, causing revelers to scream, drop their drinks and run, until Niarchos kicked the rodent out onto a balcony. A rep for Lohan told Page Six, "I have not heard of this."

What could Lindsay have possibly been doing that would upset her younger fans? Drinking alcohol? Hoofing rails? Making a Hannah Montana doll and a Pete Wentz doll have nasty plastic sex? Perhaps Celebrity Babylon can shed some light on the mysterious goings on:

The party was shut down at around 6 am on Sunday, April 29, after cops, who had been called by Kelly Osbourne to look for her missing purse, found cocaine in one of the VIP restrooms!

Obviously this means that if you see a huge rat roaming the streets with a Stamos Nachos footprint on its head and a Fendi bag, call Kelly; she really wants her shit back. Oh, and also don't read too much into that coke in the shitter. It's definitely not Lindsay's. She would never leave any behind.

Get your Lindsay fix at MrSkin.com.