LiLo Bday Bash 2k9

Let's take a break from Michael mania for a bit to wish a very happy 23rd birthday to the world's foremost famous freckled firecrotch Lindsay Lohan! Her birthday is July 2, but she celebrated this weekend with a pool party in Las Vegas, sponsored by her own brand of canned tan. Yikes, that's like Cover Girl throwing a bat mitzvah for Drew Barrymore or that brand of yogurt that makes you go poop sponsoring Jamie Lee Curtis's party. But the main point is Lindsay's get-up. There is something oddly familiar about it. White denim cutoffs. Bilevel half shirt. Belly button ring. Terra cotta faux tan. Blue contact lenses. Fringed boots with fluorescent toenails. She looks exactly like the girl I met who was running the Tilt-a-Whirl at the Hodgkins County Fair in 1987. Oh, Misty Jo, where are you? You stole my heart. And my Stryper wallet. I want that back!