Good news, guys. All those sundry penises you thought had sullied the hideyhole of innocent child star Lindsay Lohan? She was lying about all of them. Of course, for every wiener she lied about, there was a replacement wiener that did visit her lady flower. But, hey, no girl's perfect.
You poor, gullible saps. Lindsay has been fucking with you all this time and just ate it up like pureed peas. Us, we knew better. We never bought that whole story about Lindz playing hide-the-baloney-pony with Bruce Willis. That was just . . . too creepy. And it totally harshed our boner, so we preferred to think that Lindsay was hooking up with Keira Knightley or someone. Anyhow, Lindsay told Elle magazine:
I say things that aren't true a lot… If I was dating one person (I'd) probably tell them I was dating someone else and then I'd call my friend and be like, 'Do you mind if I say that we're dating?' I figure I'll fuck with them (tabloids), because they fuck with me.
But what of Lindsay's fidelity? We're dying to know whether or not Harry Morton is the only current recipient of the firecrotch. Lindz continued:
If I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people, but I want to be able to (date) if I like someone else. I don't think I've had enough experience with dating one guy for a long time.
See, Lindsay can get away with such demands because she's young and hot and sexually coveted. But when we demanded that Blow-up Betty needed to stop sleeping with Pierpon the garden gnome but we would continue our affairs with Fluffy the golden retriever and that one really hot coat hanger, she just got mad and slapped us across the face.
Peep the dirty liar herself at MrSkin.com.
