Two! Two Lily Allen Nip Slips! Ah-Hah-Hah!

Nip slips are cool and all, but what about those of us who long for symmetry in our accidental celebrity nudity? It's like having a Shirley without a Laverne. A Lenny without a Squiggy. A . . . Carmine without . . . a . . . Edna Babish? So that's why anal retentive weirdos the world over are falling in love with Lily Allen today, a young lass who slips one nipple, then balances things out by slipping the other one an hour later. After the cut, the yin and yang of Lily Allen's cans will align your qi.

So yesterday, Lily donned the dreaded deep V shirt. Usually such a thing makes one look like a cupcake-eating Hold Steady fan on break from art school, but THIS particular deep V makes Lily Allen look like a cupcake-eating Hold Steady fan on break from art school whose tits are hanging out. Big difference!

Lefty loosey: