Hold Me Closer, Tipsy Drinker

The bitch is back! Elton John: gaptoothed, queeny, favors oversized novelty eyewear and wieners. Lily Allen: has third nipple, drunk, favors tit slips and Courvoisier. Put them together in the same room and it's like putting Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger in a burlap sack and then shaking it up. The pair cohosted the GQ Man of the Year Awards ceremony last night and after Lily began tossing back the sauce, hilarity ensued. Says Yeeeah! (via the Daily Mail):

When Miss Allen came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, [so-host] Elton John chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’ She fired back: ‘Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’

The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘Fuck off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’ When Sir Elton made reference to 82-year-old crooner Tony Bennett’s age as he was given the Inspiration Award, Miss Allen interrupted: “I’ll still fuck him.”

She also drunkenly blurted out the news that her brother had got engaged to girlfriend Jaime Winstone, much to the couple’s shock since they had not even circulated the news among their friends.

Miss Allen could be seen pouring herself champagne from a bottle she had hidden behind the lectern, gulping it down in between awards, and finally slumping down at the back of the stage. Such was her state that she barely made it off the stage after the awards ended. She went on to drink even more champagne at the afterparty and had to be helped out to her car by her ever-present bodyguard.

This is why England is way cooler than we are. England picks a known sloppy-ass inebriate to host an awards ceremony and when she starts launching f-bombs, insulting a knight, and practically falling face first into her own puke, the show rolls on. Here in America, at the first sign of Ellen Degeneres getting a little slurry, we'd yank her off the stage and replace her with Robin Williams doing funky gay rasta man voices for three and a half hours.

UPDATE: Video here!