(Let Me See Ya Ass) 1, 2 Cheeks

We are vaguely familiar with Ciara. We know that she was on Saturday Night Live once. She sings songs about stuff. She probably does a little dancing too. But beyond that, we don’t know much. She doesn’t have Beyonce’s ass or famous husband or Rihanna’s bold fashion choices or boyfriend drama. She could be married to an accountant from Queens and be the mother of quintuplets for all we know. What we do know, though, is that she has an ass crack. We know that because she’s showing it off in that picture down there. And, sure, technically it’s not much more than coin slot, but thanks to the cropped t-shirt it looks like she’s revealing pretty much her whole ass but has an abnormally short butt crack. Maybe if we make up a story about Ciara being born with one large ass cheek and having to endure many painful operations to give her the appearance of dual cheeks we’ll remember her. She’ll go from being “that one girl who sings” to “that girl with one ass cheek.”