Kirsten Drunkst

We love a good drunk celebrity. They bring joy into our life and reassure us that we are not the only one ending every Friday night in a pool of our own vomit on the bathroom floor. But frankly weíre a little tired of always talking about Tara Reid. The poor girl has been through enough. So thank you, Kirsten Dunst, for stepping up to the booze-soaked plate and saving Tara Reid from our continued torment.

Weíre not gonna lie to you; Kirsten Dunst isnít exactly our favorite celebrity. Sure, she was cute in Bring It On, but after that her forever braless tits began to sag like an African bushwoman in National Geographic and we lost interest. Plus, the idea of her and that elfin little eunuch Orlando Bloom trying to teach us about love and destiny and whatever shit in Elizabethtown makes us want to scrape our eyeballs clean with a razor blade and plunge a couple of knitting needles into our ears just to save us from their paltry make-believe skills. Perhaps if Kirsten had spent her days on set as drunk as a college freshman like she was at the movieís premier we could muster up a smidgen of interest. A source told Page Six that Dunst arrived "disheveled" and at the after party she proceeded to "drink a lot and got very loud and obnoxious. She was very pushy." And by that we assume the source meant that Kirsten swung around a broken beer bottle threatening to cut anyone who came near her while screaming, ìJake is my boyfriend. He doesnít like penis. I donít care what he did in that movie with Heath Ledger. He didnít like it, even if he said he did. He loves me and my vagina. He is a hot, heterosexual man and he loves my vagina!î And then she fell in a heap to the floor. Weíre assuming.

Kirsten's braless wonders at MrSkin.com.