Kimbo Stewart FHM's Most Eligible Bachelorette. Must Look up Definition of "Eligible Bachelorette"

When you imagine which young, single, hot girl you would most like to share your dangly bits with, names like Jessica (either Alba or Biel will do) or Scarlett might come to mind. But in the FHM offices they want nothing more than to drive their collective Downtown Train into Kimbo Stewart. Hey, Joe Francis did declare her a better fuck than Tara Reid. That's something, right?

Despite the fact that FHM announced the mercy killing of its print division a couple months ago, the mag just won't go away. But we think we've figured it out: Dozens of magazine staffers, angry that they'll have to go begging for jobs in the Maxim mail room, wanted to leave their bosses with a big "F YOU, JERKHOLES" and racked their brains for hours and hours trying to come up with the perfect parting gift. Slip in a nude shot of Kathy Bates with the EIC's face superimposed on it? Personally take a crap in every issue being sent to subscribers? In the end they decided on the most subtle and least labor-intensive prospect, choosing Kimberly Stewart as their Most Eligible Bachelorette. Good one, out-of-work FHM staffers!

The rest of the list shaped up a little something like this:

1. Kimberly Stewart
2. Carmen Electra
3. Princess Beatrice
4. Sarah Harding
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Maria Sharapova
8. Paris Hilton
9. Keeley Hazell
10. Keira Knightley
11. Ivanka Turmp
12. Nicky Hilton
13. Lydia Hearst-Shaw
14. Amanda Hearst
15. Gisele Bundchen
16. Holly Branson
17. Jenna Bush
18. Barbara Bush
19. Britney Spears
20. Kate Moss

We love the addition of Kate Moss. We think that even if she and Doperty get all legal-and-binding married she'll still pop up on these hot-n-single lists. If every single person in the world erases Pete Doherty from their memories maybe it will make him go away. Or least help him end up in prison when he gets arrested for the 48th time in a year.

You like hot and single ladies? Check out Carmen Electra at MrSkin.com and work your way down the list.