Klinker Sutherland

Yesterday, Kiefer Sutherland turned himself in to authorities and began serving a 48 day sentence for DUI. People mag scoops:

"Mr. Sutherland is very polite and humble. He was very cooperative during the booking process,î said jail spokesman Officer John Balian. ìHe will be issued an orange jumpsuit, and will be housed alone in a cell, since heíll be a long-term inmate.î Sutherland will be assigned to laundry and kitchen duty, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner to the other inmates. As an inmate worker, heíll be allowed the roam the jail ìabout 75 percent of the timeî ñ rather than be confined to his cell all day ñ though the only time heíll be in contact with other inmates is when heís serving food, said Balian.

Sutherland previously released a statement saying, ìIím very disappointed in myself for the poor judgment I exhibited recently, and Iím deeply sorry for the disappointment and distress this has caused my family, friends and co-workers on 24 and at 20th Century Fox. I appreciate the support and concern that has been extended to me these last weeks both personally and professionally.î

Jail, kitchen duty, disappointment and distress, blah blah whatever, did you get a load of that booking photo? Good Christ, that man is making love to all of us with his eyes. Kiefer is definitely still in the running to become America's Next Top Inmate. "I love this boy. I love him," says Miss J. "The cah-meh-rah luhvs him," Twiggy croons. "Honestly, he's fallen flat for me before, but I can see a real model emerging in this photo. It's remarkable," says Nigel Barker. "THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WAS JUST COMIN' UP, GIRLFRIIIIIEEEND! LOOK AT THOSE EYES! FIRE! FIRE! THAT'S FIERCE! NO DEAD EYES, JUST FIERCE LIKE THIS! RAWRAWRARWARWARRRRR! LOOK AT MY APRICOT-COLORED WIG! HA HA HA HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! FRIED CHICKEN! DOUGHNUTS! GLARBLELRLSALBER!" says Tyra.