Today in Britney news: You can stop the "analysis" you've been conducting of that supposed Britney Spears sex tape. It's a fake. But if your perversions run more toward reckless child endangerment rather than wagging wangs, then you're in luck, as Kevin Federline is suing Britney for custody of their two children. And we're almost 87% positive that Kevin has enough tact not to resort to a Sean P./Jayden/Apple Martin sex tape for cash. 87%.
Fleshbot (NSFW, duh) might have devoted hours upon hours to those nineteen blowjob seconds to discern that it was definitely not Britney (and a viewing of the extended clip proves it) but they weren't really that interested anyway:
We're already starting to lose interest; after all, it's only a blowjob … and not a very good one at that. As soon as someone sends us verifiable footage of the formerly happy couple getting it on doggie style while some of the more obscure tracks from "In The Zone" play in the background, we'll let you know.
We were holding out for the version with Britney eight months pregnant and the sweet strains of "PopoZao" wafting in the background, but maybe that's just us.
Elsewhere in the Federlineiverse, in addition to classing up Chicago's House of Blues with his pimpishness, Kevin is pretending that, not only is he capable of changing diapers and filling bottles with a liquid other than Olde English, he's dying for the privilege. According to TMZ:
Federline is asking for legal and physical custody of the couple's children. Sources tell TMZ that Federline will fight Spears on the custody issue. In the response, obtained by TMZ, Federline is asking the judge to award Spears visitation.
Federline is also asking the court to award him spousal support.
He also asked for a Barbie and a pony and really pretty dress with pink ruffles.
Britney is back! But she's always been at MrSkin.com.
