KFed Pretends To Know Meaning of "Verb", Plans Book

Even though Kevin Federline has officially lost all rights to fame, we refuse to ignore him. What's that you say, KFed? You've got a Britney Spears sex tape? Hot dog. Wait, you never said that, it was all a lie? But now you're going to divulge all of Britney's girl-loving, hard-partying, time-travel-believing ways in a book? We're sure this will come back to smack us on the ass and call us Shirley (if only through the prolonged newsworthiness of Kevin), but we'll bite.

MSNBC reports:

K-Fed is prepared to write a steamy, scandal-filled book about his estranged wife that could include shocking details about wild drinking, alleged drug use, her sexual attraction towards other women — as well as her supposed belief in time-travel, according to the new issue of Star.
However, the aspiring rapper may not write the book if he gets what he wants in a divorce settlement from his famous wife.
“Kevin is either hoping a publisher will pay him big money for the book,” a source told the tab, “or that Britney will cough up more cash than what’s in their prenup [an estimated $360,000 in spousal support plus $7 million from the sale of their Malibu, Calif., home] to keep him from spilling the beans.”
Federline wants sole custody of their two children as well as a settlement of at least $20 million, reports Star, and is alleging that he can “prove that Britney is an unfit mother” by revealing her partying ways both while she was pregnant and when their babies were born.
As part of his evidence against Spears, Federline is reportedly prepared to use a video he shot — which has appeared on YouTube — in which Spears babbles incoherently.
“Kevin says he filmed it just a week before Brit filed for divorce,” a source told the Star. “He told me, ‘I want the world to see that Britney is an unfit parent and that she’s not in her right mind.’”

The video in question can be found here. We're guessing the time-travel talk was merely stoned babbling and not a deep-seated belief system. If she really, truly believed in time travel, don't you think she would invest every penny she has to travel back to 2004 and avoid ever meeting Federline and his super sperm? And as for Britney being an unfit mother, wethinks Kevin better think long and hard about what he uses as evidence. Because we are certain there's video footage out there of Kevin espousing his view that if he swallows enough pot seeds very potent weed plants will start sprouting out of his head.

So you want to study just how much pants sag it takes to win Britney's affections? Take a gander at these pics of her new man, J.R. Rotem, at Splash News.

We don't know about her mothering skills, but Britney looks pretty fit at MrSkin.com.