The thing about Keira Knightley, see, is that even though she loves to talk about tits and show tits and tits tits tits, she doesn’t really have any. Which makes her an odd choice to go topless in an ad to sell perfume for Chanel. If you want to say, “Hey ladies, wear this smelly juice and you’ll have pretty boobies,” wouldn’t you want someone who has a little more meat to show off underneath that strategically placed suspender? But then again, maybe that is the point. Maybe Chanel looked at Keira’s teeny little titlets and thought, “Perfect! We can do anything we want to those bitty boobies with the magic of Photoshop. She’s like a perfectly blank canvas. A flat, falt blank canvas.” So here, take a gander at Keira Knightley’s doll-house-sized knockers after they’ve had a nice dose of photo trickery applied. If you think about it, it’s not that different than looking at Pam Anderson’s fake-out orbs.
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Better Keira’s non-tits than Pamela’s mountains without minds. At least Keira can act sexy and people will believe it. What does Pamela have but a pile of old PLAYBOY pictorials and sex tapes that are a joke to watch. No one should be laughing during a porn watching. No one.
Oh, we would definitely rather look at Keira naked than Pam. I’m just saying the boobs in that picture up there are as fake as Pammy’s.
So her boobs are really real, though, right?
Bobby, Keira’s real tits are small cupcake-sized. Her bust in the Chanel ad is twice as big than what she’s actually packing.