Today we are taking a break from Britney Spears. We know she did some stuff, but we think if we have to actually examine that stuff in any depth it will result in a nasty case of Britney murderitis, which would just make things worse in the long run. And since Jordan's complaining that she's not in the papers, we'll turn our attention to a somehow less vaginally exposed and more fit mother. According to Oh No They Didn't:
Just weeks after giving birth to baby daughter Princess Tiaamii, glamour model Jordan seems to be determined to regain her party queen title.Jordan, real name Katie Price, was a frequent fixture on the celebrity party circuit before marrying Peter Andre in 2005 but she told friends recently that misses her old nights out.
The mother of three was spotted partying with female friends in crotch-flashing tiny yellow dress last week and was out again on Tuesday night. She was overheard complaining to former Liberty X star Michelle Heaton: ìIím never in the papers any more. Itís ëcos Iím a mum and Iím boring and I stay in.î
She added that her married life is far from perfect: ìWeíre always arguing – just like on our TV programme. When the cameras stop we still argue. He gets a lot of attention and weíre both really jealous.î
But after a few years away from the party girl lifestyle, she seems to have lost her stamina. A source told the Mirror that the champagne Jordan was drinking quickly went to her head and she had to be led to the club toilets by her friends.
She tried to make herself sick in the middle of the bathroom and an onlooker heard her tell the attendant: ìDonít worry, if Iím sick Iíll clear it up. Iím used to clearing up sick all day with the kids. Iím used to having s*** all over me.î
When she was finally sick on the floor of a cubicle, she reiterated her offer, saying: ìDonít worry, I know itís there, Iíll clear it up."
This story illustrates the main difference between Brits and Americans. When England's trashiest, famous-for-nothing celeb pukes all over the bathroom, she offers to don a janitor's smock and clean it up. If this were to happen in America with our trashiest, famous-for-nothing celeb (Paris Hilton, obviously), she would probably haughtily walk away from her pile of barf and threaten all witnesses with a snarl of "I better not catch you selling that on eBay."
