We've been assuming that Katie Holmes belongs to that ultra-rare breed known as asexualsóalong with Morrissey and Gary Colemanóand one fling with a turkey baster was enough to keep her snatch satiated for a couple of decades. But it turns out that Katie is just dying for sex. She wants it! She needs it! She craves it! And Tommy just won't give it to her. Awwww. A Chatty Cathy blabbed:
Katie has become noticeably more miserable in the last few months. She finds it incredibly taxing to lead a life that revolves around Tom but that doesn't include enough intimate time with him to be genuinely fulfilling. She doesn't just want to go to red-carpet events with him. She always feels like she's competing for Tom's attention.
First off, the subject of Tom and Katie having sex is about as repulsive as that TV show we once saw about the world's largest tumor. But if Katie were so bold as to disregard her contract and beg Tom for some pumpin', we think it would go a little something like this:
Katie: Tommmmmm, I'm horny. Pleeeeeease have sex with me. Just this once? Pleeeease? I'll try really hard to get pregnant so it won't be wasted for you.
Tom: (Reaches into a drawer, then tosses Katie a dildo.) You don't need me. Use this. I don't have time for sex anyway. I have to get to Barney's. Will Smith and I are shopping for sunglasses.
