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Kate Moss to Produce World's First 95% Cocaine Baby

Finally Bobbi Kristina Brown will have a celebrity offspring to look down upon and say, "That kid is soooo f'ed up." Kate Moss is pregnant with Pete Doherty's child.

We first read about this story this morning on Gawker, where we saw the following sentence: "UK tabloid Sunday Mirror is reporting that Kate Moss is pregnant with junkie/rocker Pete Doherty." And we thought, good God, if you're high enough could you really climb into the womb of another person? Then we had images of Kate, her stomach swollen to equal her body weight, struggling to stand or breathe or do anything, thanks to the extra weight and the inhuman amount of drugs that would be in her system. But, alas, Kate is not pregnant with her own boyfriend (or possibly fiancÈ), but with his child. Quite a difference there. According to Digital Spy:

Doherty's uncle Phil Michels claims that the singer called him from Italy, where he is touring with Babyshambles, to share the news.
"I have spoken to Pete twice about the baby and he has confirmed that Kate is pregnant," Phil told the Sunday Mirror. "They are both delighted and Pete sounded really excited."
He added: "That is why they want to get married. Pete told me they want a baby together to cement their marriage. I am made up for them. I wish them every success. They're so happy, they love each other. I can't wait for the wedding – we are just waiting for a date."

As is often the case, the hardest part will be choosing a name for the tot. We're guessing Crack Cocaine Moss-Doherty (Coca for short) if it's a girl and Speedball Moss-Doherty if it's a boy.

Get yer Cocaine Kate at MrSkin.com.

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