Kate Moss Viciously Attacked by Christmas Decorations

Kate Moss and boyfriend Jamie Hince have a wonderful explanation for why they're covered in cuts and bruises: it was all thanks to a "Christmas decoration accident." Thanks, guys. The next time we get caught up in a nasty domestic assault, when the cops show up we'll forgo the usual "I walked into a door" and tell the officers that we were just doing some lovely holiday decorating when there was an unfortunate accident. Brilliant. Take it away Daily Mail:

Kate Moss and boyfriend Jamie Hince played down some mysterious cuts and bruises saying it was a 'Christmas decoration accident.'

The supermodel arrived at the Christmas lights switch-on at Stella McCartney’s Mayfair shop on Monday with The Kills guitarist Hince, with scrapes down her cheek, while Hince was sporting a black eye.

But as eyebrows were raised among the other guests, they quashed any rumours by saying it was the result of a bizarre accident involving holly and baubles.

The injuries did not stop party girl Moss, 34,enjoying the bash.

A fellow guest said: 'Jamie and Kate couldn’t stop chuckling when people gingerly asked about their injuries.

'He said he was on a ladder and she was waiting at the bottom for him to pass down the boxes of decorations.

'But he lost his grip on one and heavy decorations landed on their heads.'

This is some serious shit right here. Obviously we are on the brink of an inanimate object uprising. Soon Kate's flat iron will clamp its hot little jaws around her wrist, and while she screams in pain, a box of safety pins will go right for her eyes while the blow dryer wraps its cord around her neck. And after the toilet becomes Kate's master, no one will be safe.


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