Kate Beckinsale Reenacts Upskirt for Fun

Underworld actress Kate Beckinsale seems to have a fairly unhealthy obsession with her own vagina. After recently comparing her nether regions to the tomb of a pharaoh, without prompting, she has now spoken about her lack of knickers at a premiere – and wondering if paparazzi got any prized snaps of her downstairs area.

“It was one of those nights when I wore a supertight dress that you couldn’t have worn anything under, since it would have showed. The paparazzi were literally lowering their cameras like speculums when I got out of the car.

“On the way home, I said to my husband ‘Darling, I think they might have gotten it.’ And so when we pulled in I made him re-enact the thing with his camera - a sort of crime-scene run through. It appears I survived unscathed.”