Kate Beckinsale Trumpets Her Vaginal Excellence

Kate Beckinsale wants you to know that she has a spectacular poon chute. Only thing is, she's too much of a lady to really go into detail, and there aren't really enough men out there who have experienced its supposedly other-worldly beauty to give us the scoop. Becks claims:

"My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?"

But she wants to make sure that only the most adept spelunkers can explore its depths, explaining:

"I was called a slut when I split up with Michael and began seeing Len, but I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"

But this all makes us wonder: What exactly is so special about Kate's womb gate? Does she spend hours upon hours grooming it, giving it honey-oatmeal-avocado facials, applying bronzer? Yeah, probably, cause she's not spending that time perfecting Ina Garten's roasted chicken.

“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”

In our experience, even a great cook needs to ring up Domino's every once in a while. Does Kate ever come home exhausted and say, "Honey, I don't feel like schtuping tonight; just order some take out." Is there a list of numbers on the refrigerator: Chinese, sushi, Thai, pizza, hookers?


Kate shows off a couple of her assets at MrSkin.com.