Double Trouble for Kate Beckinsale's Butt

There are plenty of differences between you and Kate Beckinsale. Kate lives in one of several multimillion dollar mansions; you live in an efficiency apartment above a sock emporium. Kate has a nutritionist and personal chef on her staff; your idea of healthy eating is scraping the mold off the top of the Sriracha before you pour it on your Totino's Party Pizza. However, the main difference is that Kate Beckinsale hates Kate Beckinsale's ass, while Kate Beckinsale's ass is the screensaver on your phone. According to our gossip body double, FemaleFirst, Kate has demanded that producers of her new film Whiteout hire a $2000/day duff double because she feels that hers is repulsive to the senses. A source says,

"Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body."

We're not sure what kind of crazy backward thinking happens over there in the UK, but in OUR country, having a fat bottom makes you a star. Kim Kardashian, Coco-T, Vida Guerra. Here, splaying your blubbery ass cheeks as often as possible is considered a God-given talent on par with savant-level harp-playing and juggling chainsaws while riding a PogoBall. They're actually going to change our national symbol from a bald eagle to a big fat ass clad in velour Juicy sweatpants. It will look especially regal rendered in a quarter. USA! USA! USA!



Kate shows her own boobs at MrSkin.com.