Justin Timberlake Boinking Jessica Biel—and Everyone Else

If you haven’t realized it yet, Justin Timberlake is the luckiest man in the entire world. He screwed Britney when she was at her peak of hotness. Add to that some of the other girls he’s schtupped: Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Biel. He went from singing with Joey Fat One to making critically acclaimed records for himself and just about everyone else. Plus, he’s one of the funniest hosts Saturday Night Live has ever seen. Not fair, right? Well get this: Dude somehow convinced Jessica Biel that she should continue porking him but let him pork anyone else he felt like too. Guy’s good. A source told Fox News:

Justin was very clear with Jessica that he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship with her anymore where he wasn’t able to date other people. Jessica took the news very hard, but once she calmed down and they started talking again, he convinced her to stay friends who hook up, without all the pressure of a relationship.

At first she was very reluctant, but she missed him a lot and so she decided to give it a try even though it wasn’t exactly how she wanted things to be. She’s still in love with him, and they are still attracted to each other, so it would have been difficult for them to quit each other cold turkey.

So let’s get this straight. Justin says, “You’re really cool, baby, and I really like screwing you, but I’d love to screw other people too. Like Rihanna. That girl is FINE. Nothing against you. I just like screwing. And you’re not always around. And I still want to screw you too, definitely. Does that sound cool to you?” And Jessica says, “OK, honey, whatever you want”? This is Jessica Biel we’re talking about, not Jessica Bialy, some chick he met at a Safeway in Queens? We don’t get it.