Jordan Plans Post-Pregnancy Poonplasty

Demure, conservative prude/beautiful angel from heaven above Jordan (also known as Katie Price stateside) continues to demonstrate her class and elegance by discussing what she's got in store for her lower biz after giving birth to her third child shortly: a Jenna Jameson-style vadge-job! She told OK!:

"I wouldn't be doing it because I want to be smaller, because Pete likes me the way I am.

"But, and women who've had kids will know what I'm talking about, sometimes you're not as tight down there as you'd like afterwards. Sometimes if you cough or sneeze a bit of wee comes out! I just have to cross my legs and hope it doesn't trickle down my leg.

"It's not really a designer vagina I'm considering, but I'll probably get a couple of extra stitches put in while they're down there!"

Oh, come on. Jordan has some serious chav-like qualities, and if there's anything chavs like, it's designer items. The question is, will she go for the Burberry plaid pussy, or spring for the Vuitton "LV" stamped one with the gold croc skin handle?

Jordan's husband, Peter Andre, is presently recovering from a serious case of meningitis, and Jordan recently spoke about his weight loss, telling New magazine: "

The weight's only gone from his waist. It hasn't gone from his nice, broad shoulders and pecs. And he hasn't lost any weight off his willy, so that's good. It's still nice and big."

And a new excuse for paltry ding dongs is born. "Sorry, baby. I'm getting over meningitis." Better than Seinfeldian "shrinkage", because of the pity factor.

And in yet more Jordan and Peter news, she confesses that her colossally pregnant belly is not lending itself kindly to pelvic grooming. Peter adds:

"Tell me about it--it's half bald and half Amazon jungle."

We're assuming he means the reverse mullet: bald in the back and furry in the front, but let's just picture a crotch-'fro that rivals Angela Davis, with errant patches of baldness here and there. Because it's funnier.

Explore the depths of naked Jordan at MrSkin.com.