Jordan Likes a Smooth Bunghole

We never thought we'd feel the need to write about Jordan twice in one week, but there's one thing that we can never, ever resist, and that's a waxed asshole.

When we read FemaleFirst this morning and came across this story on Jordan, we thought, "Jordan likes to do it in the bathtub, good, good, she's worried about the kids walking in, la-de-da-la-de-da, HOLY SHIT, did she just admit that her husband waxes his hairy asshole?" And, indeed, she did. Sayeth FF:

Jordan's favourite place to have sex is in the bath.

The glamour model - real name Katie Price - loves getting steamy with husband Peter Andre in the tub, but the couple have to plan their romps with military precision so they aren't caught by their children.

Jordan - who has two children with Peter, new baby daughter Princess Tiaamii and two-year-old son Junior, and a son, five-year-old Harvey, from her relationship with soccer star Dwight Yorke - revealed: "We get in the bath together a lot!

"But we have to plan sex really carefully. With kids it's always hard as one of them could walk in, and then you're like, 'Arggh!' "

The busty star has also revealed that Peter's private parts are completely free of pubic hair, so he is clean for lovemaking.

She said: "Pete even shaves his a***hole. Well, doesn't shave it, but uses Veet to make it go bald. He's very clean down there, like a baby."

We imagine that the reason Jordan loves bathtub sex is that the water somewhat muffles the sound of taut waxed skin rubbing on taut plastic skin. The "squeak, squeak, squeak" would surely wake Harvey.

Oh, and just for fun, here's a picture of Peter cupping his hairless balls. Or is that David Silver?