Jordan's Titties Hurt

Jordan really has it rough. Now that she has normal-sized knockers instead of super-inflated igloos, they hurt. Plus, when she wakes up in the morning, she has to feel around for her nipples to make sure they haven't rolled off of her teat tips and slipped into her armpits. What a difficult life that Jordan leads! Our own nipple checker, FemaleFirst, reports of her pontoon pain:

Jordan's latest breast operation has left her in agony.

The former glamour model - real name Katie Price - underwent her fifth boob job earlier this month, but the reduction surgery is proving so painful she has lost her appetite and can't sleep.

A source said: "She is in a lot of pain, but the surgeon has told her it is normal. She is not sleeping well because she can't lie flat and has to sit upright all the time. She is finding it tough to eat properly."

Despite the pain, Jordan - who is married to Australian pop singer Peter Andre - is said to be happy with her new, smaller breasts.

The source added: "As soon as she woke up from surgery, she felt around to make sure they were sitting upright and that her nipples were in the right place. She is feeling positive about it all so far."

Now Peter is reportedly considering going under the surgeon's knife to get a more toned abdomen because he is struggling to lose his excess pounds.

"Waaaa! My boobies are sore! Will you please rub my poor sore boobies, Peter Andre?" Unfortunately we think the answer will come back no, unless Jordan's doo-dad downsizing was so severe that they now feel like testes.